FAMILY

A definition which states: Father And Mother, I Love You.

I feel like a bad daughter. In each and every year, I never fail to upset my mom. In P3, I stole. In P4, I almost got in EM3. In P6, I'd an aggregate of 153 as my PSLE score and was asked to choose between NT and NA stream. In sec2, r/ships.... In Sec3, late-comings...... mom had to come down to school to sign an agreement form. Almost can't be promoted to sec4 due to my EOY results. Sec4, failed SA1, (if this continues, I can't take my N levels). I dropped my Fnn as a sub recently, she cried and she was really heartbroken even though her back was facing me. I knew, deep down, she was really heartbroken.

Now I can't do anything except to do well for my Ns & be promoted to sec5. I knew, deep down, I'm able to do it, just that her daughter was just being lazy. I knew I'd to prove it to her.

SOMETIMES......
I wished I didn't had to come to this family.
I wished they don't hae to nag/ talk to me.
I cursed them, wishing them to have car accidents... etc
I wished I live alone.

But now, I found out, w/o em', I'm nothing. W/o their signature on reports book, consent forms, exam papers, signing up new courses (my dance lessons), I wouldn't be what I am today. + I wouldn't know what's going on outside of this world.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry for those cursings. They weren't from the bottom of my heart. I knew I wasn't an apologetic daughter... but it's a when-you're-angry-you-won't-know-it's-your-fault-until-you-calm-down-and-think thing.

Dear god, I beg you to take away those vulgarities, those cursings, whatever that isn't necessary in my life. Because deep down in my heart, my family cares for me the most and I love them, always. <3